Well we're now in it - the cost of living crisis that's been on the agenda for some months.
Is there a recession coming too?
Quite likely.
Can you control that?
Nope.
Still feeling anxious? Stressed? Worried? Don't know where to start or what to do differently?
I hear you, you're not alone.
Seasonal life changes affect how we manage our money, like I remember buying my first home. It was stressful, took all my savings and when I got the keys & moved in, that first night I can still create in my minds eye.
I was sitting on the gross carpet as I didn't have a sofa, with a bottle of prosecco and a mug, plus my fish & chips were in the paper bag and I was burning my fingers shovelling them in without cutlery.
I was relieved, I was tired, I was thrilled, I was scared.
What was your first time like?
Since then, re budgeting for various life events has been an ever moving feast.
And that's the thing about budgeting, managing your money, it is supposed to move with you, you design it to do just that so that you make the most out of every penny you worked hard for.
So what about your mental wellbeing?
In times of difficulty, a crisis, ill health & a million other reasons, you can feel awful.
You may have long term mental challenges or occasional blips.
If you're not managing the ebbs & flows of your money well, being in debt can get you down.
If you're not able to think clearly, you can wind up not managing your money well and get into debt.
And many variations of this can make a mess of things leaving you feeling exhausted, ashamed, embarrassed, overwhelmed, guilty that you have to say no to your kids & like you're not living your best life.
Maybe you are getting more frequent headaches or upset tummies or other physical problems that you have are being exacerbated?
Your money and your mind are best friends but can be mortal enemies.
In a recent money and mental health organisation finding, they say:
"According to the Money and Mental Health Organisation, 1 in 4 UK adults are now deeply concerned about their financial situation.
Problem debt, or a sudden life crisis that precipitates a loss of income, can make people three times more likely to see suicide as their only option.
Suicide support organisations are clear that many suicides are preventable if we start talking openly and sensitively about it. We’re here to help - talk to us today if you’re worried about money." *
So here's 10 ways to start to feel more like yourself again
Get ALL your worries out on paper A cathartic brain dumping exercise is probably going to be an emotional experience. But it will release your hurting brain.
If you're waking up in the night fretting If you can't get back to sleep get up, make a camomile type of tea & repeat the above. Getting it out of your head stops that awful relentless swirling around of thoughts. Then get a lovely meditation soothing sound on you tube or via an app & try to settle. Everything is always worse when you're exhausted & definitely at 3am!
Share this with a loved one your best friend, call a support worker like the Samaritans or a financial support place such as Step Change. You don't need to, and shouldn't carry this burden alone. Having fresh eyes on the problems will soothe & support.
Avoidance - this is a big red flag. Are your bills going unopened? Are you being a hero & helping other people with things, or being extra super busy with life so that you've no time to tackle this? Are you doing everything but tackling the problem? Avoiding it makes you feel good in that moment, a small sense of control but that nagging feeling will not go away.
5. Your confidence & morale will need a boost Do you know HOW to deal with this stuff? Are you beating yourself up & telling yourself wicked things you'd never dream of saying to anyone else? Like how stupid you are, or how terrible you are with money or that you don't deserve nice things... Managing your money is a life skill like any other and needs to be learned. Now, ask yourself what ARE you good at? You know you are good at lots of things, have courage to admit this. How CAN you be good with money? Love this reframing, how CAN you do something...? What great things describe you? Like, "I am... fill in the blanks... kind/funny/intelligent" Now try "I am good at... gardening/making others feel good/ baking" Ask your loved ones for what they love about you - you need a boost my friend.
6. Self Care Can go off your radar easily, when you're low on energy the last thing you want to do is go for a run. Ironically of course doing something that makes your endorphins rush around is exactly what you do need. Crank up the music for a solo party in your kitchen, go for a swim, a lovely walk, star jumps while waiting for the kettle to boil - something is better than nothing. Get a funny tv show on that's silly & makes you laugh - Vicar of Dibley, Armstrong & Miller, Friday Night Dinner whatever doesn't matter. Just don't watch the news on repeat and do not put on The Notebook!
If you haven't done any personal maintenance for a while, cliché perhaps, but get in that bath with bubbles & get scrubbing & shaving! Plenty of the good body cream & an early night with camomile tea & a soothing playlist.
Do your hair beautifully the next day, put on some lippy & perfume - always makes me feel just a tiny bit better.
7. Pick one of your problems - an easy one. What's happened? Be specific. Now imagine your friend has come to you with this & she's really upset about it. What 5 things are you going to suggest to her as good ideas?
Of these good ideas, what are their pros & cons? Now pick one solution. Do you need help with it? Other resources to learn how to do something? And get this started today or tomorrow, if you leave it for weeks it won't get done.
8. As Marie Forleo says "Everything is Figureoutable" * And it pretty much is. When I'm having a wobble I say this to myself on repeat so when I'm done crying & releasing tension & emotions I know that I will find the answer.
9. Understanding your money is the big one - in business you need to "know your numbers" it's the same thing at home. As we said in step 5, knowledge is king. Do you know HOW to prioritise your essential bills? " " organise your income? " " organise your outgoings? " " approach & manage your debt? " " understand your spending patterns? I've got plenty of stuff on this I shall link some for you below. When you know how, you can do.
10. Here's a list of 6 great resources BUT don't overburden yourself by reading everything. Just visit to search for what you want to know. https://www.mentalhealthandmoneyadvice.org/ https://clic-uk.org/ https://www.mind.org.uk/ https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/ https://www.stepchange.org/ https://www.gov.uk/
Want to ask me a question?
Send me a message via social, contact me page or email info@budgetingandplanning.co.uk
It's on the house.
Until next time, do like this blog post and save the tips if you found them helpful.
Love from
Lucy x
Such an incredible book - Marie Forleo is such an inspiration to me.
Click the link to check it out.
If you buy it I may receive a teeny tiny commission but it will not make a difference to how much you pay - I appreciate you using the link!