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what the bloody hell am I doing?

It's 10 past midnight, I've been sobbing so much my indelible eyeliner is now creating a slalom effect akin to Alice Cooper down my ruddy cheeks.


I'll tell you why, I'm rubbish at creating websites and need help with every little click and design element and I'm one of the most impatient people in the world (my mum doesn't know where I get it from) and if I can't fix it within 5 minutes it's been known for me to descend into toddler tantrum town.

So I've had huge self doubt about my abilities to actually even do this. Have you been there, given up, soldiered on or gently tiptoed away nothing-to-see-here...?

Elizabeth Taylor said it best.

"Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together"

Well normally I'd say that was sage advice but given the hour I've made a pukka sleepy tea, taken a few deep breaths and pulled myself together. I then did what every coach will brilliantly teach you; to "parent yourself".

I told myself to write a list, said well done on what I had achieved (albeit the hard way) and reminded myself to just create a good foundation before messing around with fonts, colours & calendars and the rest will follow. I had created a plan for tomorrow and that felt great, all was not lost.

In a fabulous networking group I'm part of, we were discussing on Monday about the power of saying no, of decreasing distractions and staying true to the vision even though the path gets a bit wonky from time to time. The vision is your guiding light, your north star and I'm too tired to think of any other metaphors but you catch my point.

Sometimes things just are difficult. And I've a lot to learn. But tears and all I will get better!

"Will you stop bloody talking to yourself and come to bed" the sleepy order came from across the hall. Tomorrow is another day, night night.

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